There was a time when I really enjoyed blogging. I had been
quilting for several years before I discovered blogging, but only a handful of
people ever got to see the quilts I made. So it was pretty exciting for me to
be able to take pictures of a quilt, write a little something about it and post
it for the world to see. (And of course by "world" I mean the 5
people who knew about my blog back then). I thought every quilt I made was
amazing and beautiful, and I couldn't wait to show them off. Once I did, I
really enjoyed getting feedback from family and friends and a few random
strangers. I would read the comments they left, get a warm fuzzy feeling, shoot
them a thank you email, then get back to quilting. Oh, that it could have continued
like that forever. But it was not to be.
I think the beginning of the end was the day I discovered
the "stats" tab, a few months in. Previous to blogging, I would judge
the worth of a quilt by how much I liked it, and the reaction of the person who
ended up receiving it. Upon discovering that I could tell how many people were
visiting my blog and looking at my quilts on any given day, that started to
change. I became more concerned with what I thought other people thought of my
quilts (and by extension, me.) Stats and comments became a measuring stick for
my success (or failure) as a quilter and it began affecting the way I felt
about myself.
The online quilting world then became this competitive place
where I felt I had to prove myself. I started comparing my stuff to everyone
else's. I began being judgmental, jealous, critical and withholding praise. I didn't allow myself to comment too much or get too involved - I
became less and less concerned with forming relationships and more concerned with gaining
followers.
I started making rules. Lots of strict rules for myself to
follow. I couldn't make the same quilt twice or use the same fabric twice.
Every quilt had to be new and different and my own design. I couldn't use
patterns or make quilts that others had designed. I could only post finished
quilts. Publicly admitting I liked comments was a no no. Inviting people to
become followers, hosting giveaways, random blog buttons, advertising -- all
not allowed. Keep in mind, I wasn't writing these down...they were almost like
mental notes that I barely knew I was taking. Some of the rules were in
response to things I saw other bloggers doing. Others were a way to handle to insecurities or the
slightest hint of criticism. But most, I have no idea when or how or why I came
up with them. I just knew they must be followed. They were necessary to maintaining the illusion of perfection
I had created. I couldn't break the rules without being harshly critical of
myself so I followed most of them to a T.
And it all happened so gradually, I didn't even realize what was happening. I let something I really enjoyed turn into something I needed
to feel good about myself. And that turned into something I didn't love but
felt obligated to do, until it turned into something I could barely stand to
think about. I didn't stop making quilts, but there were times I thought, do I
even like quilting? So eventually I just stopped posting things on my blog. I told
myself it was because I was too busy. I had a bunch of kids now. I had a life. Nobody else was
blogging anymore- it was just the natural progression of things. Yeah...those were the
reasons I had stopped. But at that point, I really had no idea why.
The past couple of months I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have found a way of changing a lot of my thoughts that I didn't realize were affecting me so much. And as a result, I've been having a lot of success at changing old habits and beliefs and starting to fix things I thought couldn't be fixed. One of those things was my enjoyment of sharing myself and talents. So I have decided to start over. I'm getting a new website. I'm
changing the way I do things. And I will be throwing out every single one of my old
rules. And I will be making up for lost time...since I have about 20 quilts I have not yet shared! I am pretty excited!
More details coming...hope to see you again soon!
P.S. I don't share any of these things so you will excuse me or
try to make me feel better...I am ok...not proud of some of this stuff...but I am really ok with it.
I have learned a lot from these experiences and I now feel like there is value
in sharing some of my struggles along with the pretty things I make. Maybe it will help someone to be more wise than I have been. :)
I missed your quilts/posts and I'm glad you shared why you drifted away. I must admit, I've had similar thoughts (i.e. why did that quilt I loved get so few "likes" on FB? Maybe it isn't as cool as I thought...) Ultimately I've decided to quilt what I want and if it connects with someone great; if it doesn't, well, I still added a little more whimzie the world. I do love your vibe and can't wait to see your new site!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sweet comment! I love that you said "if it connects with someone" - that is totally what I have been missing - the connection with people! That is why I started blogging in the first place...I just kinda got off track! Glad to be making my way back!! Thanks for your support!
DeleteOh, hooray! I've only discovered your blog since you stopped quilting, but I've been hoping you would come back to it again someday. I think your senses of color and design are fantastic, and I love the quilts you've posted about in the past. I look forward to seeing the ones you've made since, and the ones you will make in the future!
ReplyDeleteThank you Kristin!! It makes me so happy to know you have enjoyed the quilts! I look forward to sharing more and getting to know everyone better!
DeleteI appreciate your honesty. Welcome back.
ReplyDeleteThanks Christine!! I appreciate it! 😊
DeleteYour quilts are really amazing! I'm sorry you boxed yourself in so strictly but I'm glad you're trying things in a different way. Here's to new habits!
ReplyDeleteThanks Nicole!! Yes! Boxed in is exactly what I was!! Heathier habits feel soooo much better! Thank you for taking the time to comment!
DeleteI can only imagine the struggles you've been through. I'm so happy you will be blogging again?...you mentioned a new website, does that mean blog? Your quilts and your imagination for designing them and your awesome sense for color mixes is divine eye candy.
ReplyDeleteAnnie! I have missed you! And seeing your amazingly creative postcard art and journals!! Yes, I will be blogging a bit along with some other things...same name...just a new site.
DeleteThanks so much for the nice compliments! You are so sweet! So glad to hear from you!
Welcome back Cynthia. Thank you for sharing your story of drifting away from blogging. I'm sure you are not alone in alot of those thoughts but I'm glad you have worked through it and are baack again. Look forward to following.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Marlene! I am looking forward to it as well! It's a good feeling...I have missed it! Looking forward to getting to know new friends!! So glad you're here!
DeleteWhat an interesting journey of introspection. You obviously felt the need to examine the rationale for quilting and blogging. I enjoy your quilts and thank you for sharing your quilting endeavours.
ReplyDeleteYes! I never thought I was very good at introspection...turns out I was wrong! Thanks for the compliment-- I'm so glad you enjoy the quilts!
DeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts. I too had stopped blogging and realise reading your thoughts that I had fallen into some of the same traps. Now I am back blogging but like you I have changed my attitude. Let's hope we both move on and enjoy blogging again.
ReplyDeleteYes! So glad you are blogging again too! Here's to moving forward! Thank you!!
DeleteIf you blog about what you love, others will love your blog. It's as simple as that.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Joy!! Thanks for sharing! 😘
DeleteI can relate completely! Stats and pins became my LIFE! So then I just stopped blogging. Eventually after a long hiatus I discovered my blog was getting hacked. So I blocked the hacking, but then they kept trying to get it. Long story short...I had to make a call...do I dump more money into something that was no longer giving me satisfaction and was creating unnecessary stress in my life or do I just cut it loose. I decided to cut it loose and it was soooo freeing! I'm loving what I'm doing again...without the pressures. I'm so glad you discovered what was happening for you and that you are able to reset and continue on in a new fashion! :) You're a talented quilter and I'm so glad the blogging stats aren't getting to you anymore!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I'm not the only one! The pressure is the worst!! And the funny thing is, I thought I was doing what I needed to avoid the pressure! Haha! Live and learn! Glad you are loving what you do again!! Thanks so much for your nice thoughts!!
DeleteI only recently discovered your blog, so I am glad you won't be quitting altogether. I do understand all of what you said and thought as having a blog myself for over 9 years now, I too went through being concerned about comments and stats and feeling like so few even cared. I thought about giving up, but then decided that I really started the blog to document my work and share. Things come in waves and the followers who commented so much earlier on are gone and new ones have come to be my steady commenters and imagine some of them will stop comments and new ones will comment and so on as it goes. I too have become less of a commenter on blogs I follow. It does take a lot of time to post as well as to comment, so I had slowed down on both. But I do enjoy blogs so much more than other social media. I do look forward to whatever you do and would like to get to know you better now that I have discovered you. CHeers!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to comment! You are right! Things come in waves and are always changing. Looking forward to getting to know you as well!
DeleteI can appreciate everything that you wrote. I have sorely neglected my blog. . .mainly for the same reasons. And even just trying to blog once a month (so I could take part in some on-line swaps) has been hard to do.
ReplyDeleteMy answer was to consider it as a journal and if no one read it or commented it didn't matter.
I still have a hard time blogging. . . but I like reading other blogs. . .go figure! LOL
Your quilts are wonderful. Have a lovely day.
Thanks for your thoughts Sherry! I like the idea that it's a journal! I always love going back and reading old posts --just like reading an old diary (but without all the gushing about boys!) I'm so happy you like the quilts! Thanks for the compliment!
Deletethank you for being so honest with yourself, so we will be able to see your wonderful quilts again. I love to read about quilts, colors, approaches etc, and I loved to see your quilts.
ReplyDeleteTo a colourful future <3
Thanks so much! I am excited to begin again!
DeleteSo glad you will be back blogging, I love your style and missed seeing what you've been up to.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! I am excited to be back!
DeleteOh girl, I have missed your posts and so glad you will be showing us some eye candy soon! You don't know how much I loved that we were able to meet in person before you moved:) Glad to hear all is getting back on track. Hugs
ReplyDeleteVicki! I have missed you! I still think of you often...especially whenever I see that darling hot pad you gave me -my girls fight over it when they need something to put under a hot bowl!! Hope you are doing great!! Talk soon!
DeleteI am thrilled you are coming back to Blogland, Cynthia! I didn't start reading quilt blogs regularly until five or six years ago and yours was always one of my favorites. I have missed it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dawn!! I am so happy to know you have enjoyed it! I look forward to more quilting without all the stress! 😊
DeleteI hope you keep blogging. I love the look of the quilts you have shared in this post, so please post again soon.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I think about stopping and air my concerns on my blog, I always get lots of positive feedback, mainly from those who follow, read, save photos to Pinterest, but never comment! I like to think I can inspire people to make quilts, even if they don't gush over mine!
Hi! Thanks for your comment! I do plan to continue blogging...but without all the rules and pressure!! I love what you said about inspiring people to make quilts! That was my original plan but I ended up wanting the gushing over the quilts even more! 😩 Live and learn!
DeleteA thought provoking and honest blog post, found myself nodding at several points in agreement. Looking forward to seeing those 20 quilts!
ReplyDeleteYay, you're back! I'm excited to see your upcoming posts.
ReplyDeleteI post my quilts on my blog as a way of documenting all my work, along with the photo albums I have been making. I'm not sure anyone is that interested in my blog, but it is out there as a record, if nothing else.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine that it must have been very difficult for you. I was never a blogger, but I was posting all of my quilts on FB and had the very same thinking happen to me. I used to make quilts because I truly enjoyed finding fabrics to make into something I loved. I made what I liked and sometimes people (friends and family) would want them. Then I started doing them based on what others would say about why I used certain colors together or the motifs of fabric. It slowed my quilting and I began to question my choices, stopped posting pics of what I was making. It made my fun, stress relieving hobby turn into "work". I lost the thrill and excitement for fear of being judged. I'm slowly coming back to it and enjoying it once again. I've loved your blog from the first time I found it and was sad when you stopped. I even made my granddaughter's first quilt from your pink, brown and green pattern. Welcome back!! I hope you never feel this way again. You share so much and it's wonderful for so many of us. Can't wait to see what you make next!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! How cool that you made your granddaughters first quilt with the green and brown and pink pattern!! I Think that was the first pattern I ever wrote. That makes me so happy! 😘
DeleteShe just recently turned 3 and she still loves that quilt! It's a terrific pattern that you wrote and you should be very proud of it. It was so well written and inspiring. It made me so happy to see that you are slowly coming back. Even if you don't make anything new, you've given us all so many pictures to look at, admire and be inspired by. Take good care of yourself.
DeleteI just found your blog via instagram and I just wanted to say your quilts are beautiful and they make me want to try my own. I hope we get to hear more from you in the future! Thank you for all your hard work 💜💙💚
ReplyDeleteThanks!! I am glad you want to try your own!! You definitely should...quilting is the best!
DeletePlease come back and blog again,....even if it's only once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you're saying, about the approach that you were taking to make what you thought people wanted to see, or to outdo yourself. I got into the same tangle back when I used to enter quilt shows regularly.
But once I realized what I was doing, I changed, and I am sure you have too. But your quilts can inspire others...yes, your lesser quilts as well as your greatest ones. Shoot, take a look at the one I just made, just because I felt like it, not because I thought that ANYONE ELSE would even think it was nice. And I LOVE IT......... http://dollyshome.blogspot.com/2017/08/sixteen-patch-backing-made.html
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I couldn't care less if you ever showed a new quilt. You can just keep showing the old ones, they are delightful. I don't have time for my own blog or instagram, I have never been to Facebook. I live too far away to belong to a guild and to top it off I work full time and have small children. My output of fabulous quilts is nil! I quilt from 4 to 8 am on Saturday mornings! But I do try to read a quilt related blog during my lunch 1/2 hour just so I can stay in touch with people who love what I love. So please continue to blog :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Bridget! I loved your comment! 😊 I'll be back soon!
DeleteI am sorry that blogging made you feel that way. You know what they say about comparison being the thief of joy, or something like that. I'm glad you are still quilting and blogging! I think I am a fairly new follower, but a long time blogger who is happy with any positive comment i get in my little corner of blog land. Instagram has sort of taken over from blogging, I suspect. We don't need to see a finished and/or an original pattern every time! I love seeing progress shots and someone's else's individual interpretation of a pattern. Keep blogging and sharing your talent! There are plenty of us out here who appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteYou can always turn off comments. =) I enjoyed looking at your quilts as I dipped in and out of your posts here, and looking at your patterns on Craftsy. You are extremely talented and your quilts are happy ones. I hope to find your new website somewhere.
ReplyDelete